Heal Yourselves!

In the song 'The Temple' from the musical Jesus Christ Superstar, Jesus ends the song by crying out in a loud voice, 'Heal yourselves!'. It is a controversial line in the production and many people argue that Jesus would never say these words and was always compassionate. The song has people seeking Jesus' attention to heal their various ailments. It builds to a crescendo where it appears that Jesus is totally overwhelmed by the need surrounding him.

I must say that sometimes (especially just before holidays) ministry feels a little this way. It is all too much. The demands that people place upon you and the expectations they have of your time and energy seem neverending. Thankfully, I am at the end of a week's leave and feeling ready to emerge out of my cocoon once more. I can certainly imagine Jesus feeling overwhelmed and frustrated by the continuous challenges of his life. Maybe he didn't yell out, 'Heal yourselves!', but I have no problem believing he thought it every once in a while.

In fact, I think there is some wisdom in these harsh words. In my experience as a Spiritual Director, it is those people who are ready for healing to occur in their lives who are easiest to work with. They want healing and they are prepared to do the difficult work to help the process. I ask questions and feedback what I am hearing and seeing in the person. Often, the person will thank me at the end of the session, but really they have done the work. They have 'healed themselves'. 

Many people want miracle cures and magic transformations. But, contrary to many claims, there are no magic wands waiting to fix all the problems. Inner healing comes from deep inner work. This takes time, commitment and courage. When we look at Jesus' encounters with people in the Gospels we find him helping people to heal themselves. The healing narratives almost always have a deeper conversation following which encourages the person to continue the journey of healing at a deeper level. 

Healing is an ongoing process. It never ends. For me healing is about discovering my true self, being in right relationship with others and knowing my God. Only I can do that work. And so, Jesus' cry, 'Heal yourself' is not an offense, but a call to take responsibility and engage in the hard, inner work necessary for healing.

Guided Meditation

In our fortnightly meditation groups, we have explored many different styles of meditation. As is to be expected, people have found their own personal favourite styles. This can make it very difficult to cater for people within the group. Some enjoy contemplative meditation and others find the silence too much, preferring reflective music in the background. Tomorrow, I have decided to use a guided meditation for the groups.

Guided meditation is quite a different approach. With many types of meditation we are trying to leave all thoughts behind and simply be in the presence of God. In guided meditation there is a deliberate move to engage the imagination of those meditating in order to take them on a journey deeper within themselves. Images and story are used to guide people into a deeper reflection of life.

I have experienced guided meditation many times. Sometimes it has been a very positive experience and other times it was not. I am convinced that there is a craft to creating a guided meditation. There needs to be a balance between providing enough imagery to allow people to picture the journey for themselves. There needs to be, however, enough space for each person to create their own journey in their mind's eye. Providing too much detail can exclude people and isolate them from the journey. It is a fine line.

I have found a helpful site that has a good article about writing a guided meditation. Click here to take a look. I haven't decided exactly what journey I will take people on tomorrow. I am thinking a journey across water. There are so many opportunities for depth and reflection when on the water. The water may be still or tumultuous, deep or shallow. 

It is always a privilege to lead people on a journey, but even more so when it is an inward one.

Calm Soul

I am currently arranging a funeral for a dearly loved member of our congregation. Her son has given me a note book to browse through which contains handwritten passages from Scripture, verses of poetry, song words and personal stories. This precious note book is like another window into the soul of this wonderful woman. 

It was a verse of poetry that caught my attention. Only the first stanza of the poem was recorded in the book, but I have found the whole poem.

'Calm Soul of all Things' by Matthew Arnold (1822-1888)

Calm soul of all things! make it mine
To feel, amid the city's jar,
That there abides a peace of thine,
Man did not make, nor cannot mar!

The will to neither strive nor cry,
The power to feel with others give!
Calm, calm me more! nor let me die
Before I have begun to live.

What beautiful words! That calm that is in our souls that cannot be altered by external factors or our own moods is for what I strive. The poem indicates that real life is known when we realize that deep calm within. This is not a calm that we can contrive or create for ourselves. It is a Divine gift. I know in my role, I often rely on this calm peace within to get me through some very tough times. A calm centre allows me to be fully present for others.

What a wonderful gift to receive so unexpectedly from a wise woman. Thank you!

Do I have two lives?

One thing I often struggle with is the tension I seem to hold between my life and all its practicalities and my deep inner world. I go on a retreat or a quiet day or even just to a 30 minute meditation and come away feeling at peace, calm and very centred. Then I am plunged back into life. It never seems to be gentle. I come home to children arguing or a frantic hurry to complete a piece of homework or just the hustle and bustle of being part of a busy family and all seems lost. Sometimes it feels like living two different lives. 

Yesterday, I received a book from a wise friend. I haven't had time to read it properly yet, but a small part jumped out at me. The book is "The Testament of Devotion" by Thomas R. Kelly. He says, 

"There is a way of ordering our mental life on more than one level at once. On one level we may be thinking, discussing, seeing, calculating, meeting all the demands of external affairs. But deep within, behind the scenes, at a profounder level, we may also be in prayer and adoration, song and worship and a gentle receptiveness to divine breathings."

This offers me some hope - there is a way!! I have chosen to live my life in family and community, not in solitude and silence. I need to find a balance; find a way of living in the presence of God in my everyday life. I could just give up on meditation and quiet times seeing them as pointless and a waste of time amid my busyness, but I can see the benefits. Even though I am dragged back to the realities of my life, I return calmer, more in perspective and hopefully more able to love.

Kelly goes on to say,

"Between the two levels is fruitful interplay, but ever the accent must be upon the deeper level, where the soul ever dwells in the presence of the Holy One. For the religious [person] is forever bringing all affairs of the first level down into the Light, holding them there in the Presence, reseeing them and the whole of the world of [people] and things in a new and overturning way, and responding to them in spontaneous, incisive, and simple ways of love and faith. Facts remain facts, when brought into the Presence in the deeper level, but their value, their significance, is wholly realigned."

I love that image of bringing all things from life down into the Light. Imagine if this became a natural thing for us to do - to bring everything into the presence of God. What an amazing way to live! I guess the only way to begin is to get used to being in that deep place of the Light. The more often I go there, the more I will know the way and will just find myself there when it is least expected.

Mandala Fun

What an absolute gift!! I have spent today in quiet and meditation with my colleagues from the South West Uniting churches. Ruth Nelson led us with the theme of 'Hunger and Thirst'. It was a day of tying up loose ends for me. Life has been so busy lately that some of my reflection and pondering has been left half baked. A time of quiet and stillness allowed me to take stock and bring closure in a few areas.

I decided to spend some time playing with mandalas. I had deliberately taken my chalks with me, as I had watched so many people in my workshops achieve some beautiful effects with them. I started letting the colours speak and found myself creating a coloured, off-centre interior surrounded by a thick, white band. The colours then flowed beyond the edge of the circle to the periphery. This somehow symbolized for me the struggle between what is happening in my inner world and how this translates in my outer world. It started being quite a stark distinction between the two, but the more I worked the chalk with my fingers the more the white band began to disappear (and the messier I got!). 

I found the process very liberating and discovered that this is actually what is happening in life - the distinction is becoming less and less. I titled my mandala 'The Losing Battle'. I think this comes out of feeling that living an authentic life has been a bit like a battle. The more I decide to stop fighting, the easier it becomes to have integrity and just be me. This is a very fresh mandala - so I haven't spent much time discovering its meaning at this stage, but I am happy to share with you my little burst of colour. If you want to know more about mandalas let me know. If you'd like to get a group together, I could come and do an introductory workshop with you.

Meditation - Bringing the Mind Home

Meditation has become an important part of my life over the last two years. I enjoy different styles of meditation - from contemplative, to guided, to using music - but the more I meditate the less clutter I am wanting attached. I am becoming more comfortable in the silence and more able to still my busy mind. At our meditation groups I often read something of Thomas Merton or some other great Christian writer on the topic of contemplative prayer or meditation. This week I decided to use something different.

I read a piece from the classic, 'The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying'. The author, Sogyal Rinpoche, says, "In the stillness and silence of meditation, we glimpse and return to that deep inner nature that we have long ago lost sight of amid the busyness and distraction of our minds. Isn't it extraordinary that our minds cannot stay still longer than a few moments without grasping after distraction". He goes on to say that, "We are fragmented into so many different aspects. We don't know who we really are, or what aspects of ourselves we should identify with or believe in. So many contradictory voices, dictates, and feelings fight for control over our inner lives that we find ourselves scattered everywhere, in all directions, leaving nobody at home. Meditation, then, is bringing the mind home."

Now that certainly rings true for me! When I have taken the time to be still, silent and meditate I find I am more peaceful, more in touch with myself and with God and less likely to react impulsively. We take the time to sort through our emails, file our papers and even defragment our computer. How much more important, then, should it be to take time to allow our inner lives to regroup and 'find' ourselves again? For me, meditation is a time to spend solely in the presence of God and no one else. It's just me and God - being, not doing.