For centuries people have sought out companions with whom to walk their spiritual journey, whether it be in an ashram in India, a monastery in the desert or a retreat centre in the outback. We are all seekers, to varying degrees, and only so much searching can be done alone. Spiritual direction is the art of accompanying another in their journey, being attentive to the movement of God/Divine/Spirit in their midst.
It may help to begin with what spiritual direction is not. It is not counselling. Counselling seeks to assist a person with their relationships and their own behaviours towards other people. Spiritual direction is focussed upon the directee's relationship with God in whatever form that may take for them. Spiritual direction is not authoritarian. Although the role includes the word 'direction', it is not used in terms of giving advice or providing judgment. The role of the spiritual director is to help the directee to become aware of how God may be working in their life for themselves. And spiritual directors are not experts in spiritual life. Although a spiritual director must complete specific training to be recognised, they also recognise that the work of the Spirit is broader and more expansive than the knowledge we can possibly hold.
So what does a spiritual direction session look like? Generally, a session would last an hour and the director and directee would meet every 4-6 weeks. There is, of course, flexibility in this arrangement depending on the needs of the person. I like to begin my sessions by lighting a candle and holding a period of silence. We often race from appointment to appointment, so it is important to spend a few moments leaving the cares of the world aside and coming into a contemplative space. The directee is invited to begin sharing what is on their mind. The presenting topics can be diverse and sometimes surprising.
As a spiritual director, my role is not to fix the problem, but to help my directees find where God is in this part of the spiritual journey. This is done with careful listening, open questions and assisting to go deeper than just the surface issues.
This is the ministry to which I feel called to develop further. I trained in Spiritual Direction in 2011 and 2012. I am now involved in the training of new spiritual directors. It is a profession that is gaining recognition and understanding throughout the world and plays a vital role in the lives of many. If you would like to know more about spiritual direction, I will be available from May for face to face sessions in Margaret River, Busselton, Bunbury and Perth or via Zoom link up. I would also be available to run a brief introductory session for groups who would like to know more.
My first 'gig' after I finish my ministry placement in a little over a month now, is facilitating the Women's Weekend Away in Perth. This is an annual event that has been going for quite a few years now. Each year, the ladies invite a different facilitator to explore a theme throughout the weekend. I first led this retreat while still studying and it was a great time with a lovely mix of fun, laughter and reflection. Back then, we looked at the theme of creating space in our lives.
This year, I will be unpacking the theme 'Meeting the Mystics: Meeting Me'. I gave the committee a couple of themes to choose from and I am so excited they went with this one. Over the weekend, we will develop an understanding of mysticism that, I hope, removes the mystery and elitism of the term so that we can see where it is relevant for us today. We will meet some of the wonderful female mystics, including Julian of Norwich, Hildegaard of Bingen, Teresa of Avila and Therese of Lisieux. We will spend some time in quiet, some out in nature, some getting arty and some playing games.
My hope is that the women who come along will find a safe space where they can share their own experiences of God and their own spiritual journey. So often, people do not share their profound experiences out of fear that it is not seen as credible or in line with the beliefs of our faith community. The mystics of the past were often on the fringes of the church, as they were not afraid to speak out. I am looking forward to hearing the women who come along and helping their stories to be valued and validated.
It is shaping up to be a great weekend and, best of all, someone else cooks for you! If you are in or around Perth and are free from May 25th to 27th, why not come along and join us? For more information or to register have a look at the form.
There are not many movies that pull me back to the cinema for a second viewing. Mostly, I am content to wait for the release of the DVD. But, I must say, after seeing "The Greatest Showman" twice at the cinema, I could easily go a third, perhaps even a fourth. Now, I realise that musicals are not everyone's cup of tea and I may be just a little obsessed, however, there is something about this story and its accompanying songs that has me hooked.
I was listening to the soundtrack, for the umpteenth time, in the car today and it dawned on me. Almost every song recognises the paradox in life. "I am brave, I am bruised" are held together in the same breath, while the song "Tightrope" acknowledges that the path ahead may be right or wrong, an adventure or a fall. The great love scene during "Rewrite the Stars" doesn't just say "All I want is to fly with you" but also, "All I want is to fall with you". The struggles are held closely with the joys, the tears with the laughter. Perhaps more explicitly in the story, the poor and the rich, the acceptable and shunned, the black and the white struggle to exist together.
This reminded me of a discussion I was part of recently, reflecting on the life of the mystic. We spoke about how in a world of duality, the mystic manages to live within the paradox and find a third way. Is there nothing we need more in our world right now? Liberal vs conservative, east vs west, male vs female, good vs evil, right vs wrong; we manage to split into factions over almost any issue. The mystic seems to find a way to hold both in tension while moving through and amongst in a third way. It is certainly not a popular way that gains you any friends.
In fear of appearing to read too much into "The Greatest Showman" and naively accept the portrayal by Hugh Jackman, I wonder if the character of P. T. Barnum (in the movie) was a "third way" man. He bridged the worlds of the acceptable and those hidden away. He moved between the worlds of the rich and the poor. He empowered people who had no voice and encouraged relations with people from different cultures and backgrounds. No, he was not perfect, but had a vision of how life could be and invited others to join him. In doing so, people found their true self and were liberated from whatever held them back. Sound familiar?
And so I wonder if my own fascination, and perhaps that of many others across the world also, with "The Greatest Showman" comes from our deep need. That is, the need to be valued as we are, not as the world would have us. And the need for some sense of peace and hope in a world that would have us all believe in "us and them". Maybe we all have a deep hope that a Hugh Jackman might strut into our lives and help us come alive or a Zac Efron might step into our circus and help us rewrite the stars.
I saw someone this morning who I haven't seen in a while. Their greeting to me was, "So, I hear you're giving up." Fortunately, I have become adept at dealing with strange reactions to the changes that lie ahead (a topic for another day) and answered, I hope, without expressing my frustration.
Shortly after, I got in my car and began the three hour journey to Perth. This is always a good space for reflection and, occasionally, for some creative planning. I came around to pondering the Lenten Reflections that I have promised my congregations. At this point, they were still a page full of scribbles and vague ideas. I knew the theme I wanted to take, but nothing had crystallized. I wondered about the assumptions people make about Lent and the traditions that people bring to this season. It is often perceived as a gloomy time of repentance and reflection and I have met people who don't attend church and say they are not religious who see it as a time to go without; giving up chocolate or coffee or alcohol.
I gave up giving up something years ago now. I only ever noticed a change for the worse in myself. Giving up chocolate made me cranky. For a few years, I tried taking up something positive. One year, I committed to a Bible reading plan throughout Lent. Other years, I have taken up a new spiritual practice or recommitted to one that I had let slip aside. For me, Lent should be a time of reconnecting with God, remembering who we are and whose we are. It should be a time to rediscover life in all its fullness and really come alive as we approach Easter when this is exactly what we celebrate. That is what I want my Lenten Reflections to be about.
"So, I hear you're giving up." Well, in some ways, I guess I am. I'm giving up on the false self. I'm giving up on obligation. I'm giving up on fear. I'm giving up on perfection. I'm giving up control. I'm giving up on the distractions I create. I'm giving up, in order to find life in all its fullness. I may see it a little differently from you. It is not in defeat, but in a crazy, irrational leap of faith. But thank you all the same for giving me some tangible headings for my Lenten Reflections. Very much appreciated!
It's not often that I get to the end of a book and feel I want to start it again immediately from the beginning. That is how I feel this morning. I have just finished Brene Brown's 'Braving the Wilderness' and it had a huge impact on me. At first, I thought my eyes were watering from my inability to put this book down, but then realised I was feeling quite emotional soaking in what she had to say. To be honest, I am sure I have only taken in a third of it (hence wanting to begin again).
I am not going to try and summarise the content of Brown's book as I could never do it justice. Get a copy and read it for yourself. However, I will attempt to capture my immediate reactions, as raw and uncalculated as they may be.
1. Brown's talk about polarisation in our world and her use of the wilderness image gave me a new language for trying to make sense of the crazy world in which we are living. Questions about why I get so passionate and angry and then withdraw completely found answers in her eloquent way of describing our need to belong and what that could look like.
2. My own times of experiencing loneliness all of a sudden made sense. My most tangible experience of this was while meditating in the Garden of Gethsemane. A strange combination of the loneliness of the journey, but at the same time feeling completely at home was overwhelming. Reading Brown's description of being wild at heart brought some clarity to that experience and others.
3. It was like holding up a mirror to my life. Although some parts were affirming and encouraging, others were exposing and revealing. The discomfort in realising some of my own patterns and ways of 'creating' belonging was confronting. Brown's way of sharing her own stories and being vulnerable with her readers brought reassurance that it was okay. In all the seriousness that this inner work brings, there is also the space to laugh at our own imperfections and name them as realities of life.
4. The chapter titled 'Strong Back. Soft Front. Wild Heart.' was particularly relevant for me in the changes ahead of me this year. This journey seems to have been a constant cycle of doubt and courage. Developing a strong back has been a crucial part of this learning and I am sure will continue to be in the years that follow. According to Brown, perfecting, pleasing, proving and pretending get in the way of a strong back. There is still a lot of work to be done here!!
5. One of the aspects of the book I struggled with throughout was a recurring theme. Here it is in one of its forms.
"When we are willing to risk venturing into the wilderness, and even become the wilderness, we feel the deepest connection to our true self and to what matters the most."
I could grasp the venturing into the wilderness, but what did this becoming the wilderness mean? The answer came in the last sentences of the book.
"There will be times when standing alone feels too hard, too scary, and we'll doubt our abilities to make our way through the uncertainty. Someone, somewhere will say, 'Don't do it. You don't have what it takes to survive the wilderness.' This is when you reach deep into your wild heart and remind yourself, 'I am the wilderness.'"
There is so much more I could say about 'Braving the Wilderness', but I will leave it for you to discover yourself if you so choose. Let's just say, I am now a believer that sometimes a book finds you at the right time.
Those of you who know me personally, or read my blog regularly, will know that the year ahead holds many changes for me. Deep Water Dwelling began as the name of my personal blog and shortly after was registered as a business name by one of the congregations in which I minister, Margaret River Uniting. Since that time, Deep Water Dwelling has been the umbrella under which many workshops, retreats and other activities in the area of spirituality have sat under.
Since announcing my intention to take a leave of absence from ministry and pursue further study, the congregation has discussed the future of Deep Water Dwelling. Although many people have engaged with the various programs, the focus has gradually shifted towards hosting an annual festival called Deep Listening (check out the Facebook page and website for further information). The church council have decided that they will gift the name Deep Water Dwelling back to me to further as I please. This is something for which I am extremely grateful. To be honest, I have grown quite attached to the name and all it stands for.
So, as of April the 29th, I will finish my placement with Augusta and Margaret River and prepare to commence study and developing Deep Water Dwelling. In the meantime, the year will be quite busy with Lent, Easter, the Deep Listening Festival and preparing for my next adventure. I will continue to write here when I can find the time, but stay tuned for a new logo and more information about what Deep Water Dwelling might have on offer. I hope to offer spiritual direction more widely and have some ideas tucked away for some different workshops and retreats.
I already have my first retreat booked in at the end of May. The Women's Weekend Away will be exploring the theme of Meeting the Mystics: Meeting Me. If you would like to arrange a workshop or a retreat day during 2018, get in contact with me via email. I'd love to hear from you!!
As a young child, I wasn’t thrilled about my appointed middle name. “Dawn”, for me, was obscure and certainly not as attractive as “Donna”, the name I gave to those who enquired what the “D” stood for. I recall looking up the meaning and finding out it meant “born at the time of dawn”. This seemed lovely until my mum told me I was born in the evening.
In recent years, I have come to love my middle name. The dawn is a liminal time of day; a time when the mysteries of life seem unusually close. It is a time when people and their dogs seem far more friendly than in the middle of the day. Early morning walkers always have a smile and a greeting. It is a time reserved for those who are forced to, or choose to, see the sun rise. It’s a time I don’t see very often, but when I do it’s a real treat.
Over the new year, I have been contemplating what my word for 2018 will be (amidst trying to recall what on earth my word for 2017 was or if I even chose one). The word I have landed on is “awaken”. I have a feeling that this year is going to be one of waking up in many different ways. Changes are ahead for me that are both exciting and daunting. I will be letting the sun set on some aspects of my life and awaiting a new dawn, a new awakening that will look quite different.
As with anything, however, there is the possibility that I will allow my old patterns and habits to continue. New year’s resolutions are often forgotten by the end of January. Vows to break destructive habits are often more difficult in practice. So, although this word “awaken” seems wonderfully romantic and idealised, I know that it will be challenging and disturbing. And so my first task is to find ways to keep this word before me (and not forget it). There will be many dawns during 2018, I am hoping that I will be awake to see those that are important to me and let them change how my day(and year) pans out.
